Dropping the Label

For the longest time I had PTSD from a bad crash I suffered when I was twelve. It had a profound negative effect on my life. In my late-20s, my therapist at the time diagnosed me with PTSD. No wonder I was an anxious mess of self-hatred! I read  I Can't Get Over It by Aphrodite Matsakis. It explained A LOT. It just explained about everything. It took another five or six years before I finally met up with a psychiatrist and started taking the necessary medications. But up until the time I met the psychiatrist, I tried every relaxation and coping mechanism out there. They just didn't work, but I did try.

Now that I have been taking meds for ten years now and identified my triggers until I was down to one trigger: I startle, jump, swear, get panicy, get angry with sudden loud noises. A few months ago, I was driving along a busy road when I heard a firecracker go off. BOOM! I was so shocked because I thought my entire village was being bombed that I swerved into the oncoming lane. Thankfully I swerved back into my own lane just as fast before getting into a head-on collision. Whew!

I heard two sudden loud noises in the past two weeks and . . .

I just looked around and wondered, "Hm, wonder what that noise was?"

I did NOT jump, I did NOT startle, I did NOT get scared, I did NOT panic, I did NOT assume the world was ending or that I was in danger. My heart did NOT race. I did NOT get angry.

Am I finally healed from PTSD? I think so. I am going to stop telling people in mental health circles that I have PTSD. Besides I keep getting the initials mixed up: PSDT or PDTS, or PSTD.