Abilify

Hi,

I had to call my psychiatrist who prescribed Abilify. I hope it's a temporary thing. The co-pay is $100. How about giving me some placebos for $5.00? 

Dear Japan

I love you! I visited your beautiful country twice, and it pains me to see you suffering. I wish I could visit you and give you hugs (how do you, dear Japanese people, feel about hugs?), pass out warm chocolate chip cookies, play games with your children, read stories to your children. I wish I could do crafts with you, so you can some way express what you're going through. I want to give you hope.

Should've Read My Own Blog

and called the Warm Line here in Illinois. I fell into the depression pit. I have been sleeping late, taking naps to escape, crying alone, feeling a sharp pain in my chest, and feeling like stabbing myself.

I didn't stab myself because that sounds darn painful, and I try to avoid pain. Also, it would be bloody mess. Then I would have to call 911 because I would not want to die. And because I don't want to die, I did not try to kill myself.

Really, I wanted to stab myself to destroy myself because I wasn't liking myself that day. I want to change, so I like myself better. I want a different and better life, not the one I am living. I don't like my own reality. How much of my own sucky reality is from bad decisions (and did I know they were bad when I made them?), how much is my personality, and how much is just plain bad luck and the economy?

AAAaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

That was just me screaming out of frustration. 

Another bad thing about being in the depression pit is that I was upset to wake up from my naps.  

Yesterday I managed to go out for a 10 minute walk.  There's hope.

Requesting Hotlines or Helplines

If there is a helpline or hotline in your area to help depressed people or people with mental illness, then please let me know. It would be great if I could put together a directory.

Illinois Residents

 I love that they named this helpline as the Warm line. We all need some warm and friendly people.

This information is from my local chapter of NAMI:


Illinois Warm Line


The Illinois Mental Health Collaborative for Access and Choice is pleased to announce the
opening of the Warm Line for Peer and Family support by telephone!

The Warm Line is a new opportunity in Illinois for persons with mental health challenges and their families to receive support by phone. Peer and Family Support Specialists are professionals who have experienced mental health recovery in their own lives as an individual or family member. They have been trained in recovery support, mentoring, and advocacy and are ready to listen and help you. The warm line is not a crisis hotline, but is a source of support as you recover or help a family member to recover.

Call: 1 (866) 359-7953

TTY: 1 (866) 880-4459

Hours of Operation: Monday through Friday, 8am-5pm except holidays

From the main menu, select option #2 for Consumers and Families

Next, select option #5 for the Warm Line: Peer and Family Support by Phone.

For more information, Illinois Mental Health Collaborative website

Teacher Salaries

I went to college to become a teacher. It didn't quite work out that way. I worked in corporate American for a number of years, but that didn't work out thanks. I have been trying again to become a teacher. It's not working out this time either.

In Illinois teacher salaries are public record. I depressed myself when I looked up the salaries of my peers who obtained teaching jobs after college graduation and now have tenue. One earns $104,00 a year and the other earns $74,000 a year. I feel like a loser.

Sure, money isn't an indicator of self-worth but it is an indicator on how much you are worth in the marketplace. Right now I'm not worth anything. I am so discouraged and depressed and do not want to live the rest of life in poverty.

Never again do I want to hear my friends complain about how teaching is hard work. I know it is. And they are duly compensated and have job security.

Did I mention life is unfair? It certainly is. And maybe if we internalized that starting in babyhood, we wouldn't be a nation of whiners. Maybe I wouldn't be a whiner. But I am a whiner and hungry and behind on my rent and all that crap. So are a lot of people in America.


I just want to throw rocks through windows and jump up and down and yell and scream and bash things. I want to pay off my debts and not worry about meeting my monthly rent.

You know what. I am no longer going to listen to my teacher friends complain. That's what.

Backstabbers

Hi,

I have noticed a trend among abusive bosses, specifically my abusive bosses of the past. Most of them have been women. These managers first try to become very chummy with me by disclosing their most intimate details about their personal lives such as what method of birth control they are using. I've never, ever needed to know that information! Really, I don't need to know. Some of my real friends keep intimate details such as contraception to themselves. Those kind of conversations make me uncomfortable. Also I don't reciprocate with the same kind of information. After these managers act like I'm their new BFF, they find some way to abuse their authority over me. What's up with that behavior?


I'm friendly, but not that friendly, with my bosses. I follow directions and all that. I'm a good employee and know what I am doing. Mostly I try to be polite and professional.

My psychologist and one human resource director told me to tell these bitches (they didn't say bitches) that I don't want to continue having these conversations and that I am uncomfortable. Hopefully, my future bosses won't be backstabbers.

These types of managers are crazy and can make you feel like you're crazy. We're not crazy.
I've had episodes of paralyzing depression and anxiety and no self-esteem thanks to these idiots. And when I mean episodes I mean months and years of this shirt.

I am very curious about the whys of their behavior and I can undermine them.

Truthfully, I'd like to destroy THEIR careers, but I'm not that type of person. I let karma take care of those types of people.

Also, I want to be a person they are scared to reckon with, but I don't know how to do that.

Do you know of any tips of how to deal with abusive bosses.
I know you have crazy boss stories out there. Why not share them?

Lita

Here's the definition from dictionary.com.

backstabber

- 2 dictionary results

/ˈbækˌstæb/ Show Spelled–verb (used with object), -stabbed, -stab·bing.

to attempt to discredit (a person) by underhanded means, as innuendo, accusation, or the like.