Talking to Myself

A few weeks ago, I was on the way to a friend’s house. But before I left home, I started to get anxious. I took a half Xanax, the wonder drug. (Too much Xanax and that’s driving under the influence. Maybe a little Xanax is driving under the influence too. Check the traffic laws).

On the expressway I became very queasy, and the heavy traffic and construction only made the normally short drive long and stressful. I thought I was going to throw up. Also I realized that I haven’t taken one of my meds for a few days because I ran out and had a cash stoppage (opposite of cash flow). However my unemployment money that day, so I called in a refill. I had not picked up my refill.

When I got there I had to use the bathroom RIGHT AWAY. When I was in the bathroom I spoke sternly to my nervous system as if my nerves were little whiny spoiled children who need a smack on the butt, and I was the adult authority figure (actually I am an adult and in charge of self). This is what I said (but not aloud).

“Brain, I realized you are flipping out because you don’t have those drug chemicals that you like. Well, just calm down. I know you like those chemicals, but you will be fine without them. Just shut up, sit down, be quiet, and behave! You’ll have the drug first thing in the morning. You are fine right now. Nothing bad is going to happen. Put up with the discomfort and deal with it.”

Then I spoke to my stomach.

“Stomach, I know you are all upset and you’re nervous and acids are reacting and fussing due to that sympathetic nervous system [or whatever, but the stomach is stupid and doesn’t know if I am using the right medical terms]. You are fine. The drug chemicals will be delivered in the morning. In the mean time, cut out this nonsense. Calm down and everything will be fine.”

Then I spoke a bit nicer to both brain and stomach to reassure them.

“Brain and Stomach, I took a half of Xanax that will kick in shortly. That will take the edge off. You are fine. You will be fine.”

I left the bathroom.

I drank a Sprite to be kind to tummy. Also she served some stewed or cooked apples with brown sugar. Now that is a comfort food! 

And that was that. I was fine. For once, self-talk worked for me. Okay, I was successful and proud of it.