Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Dear Japan
I love you! I visited your beautiful country twice, and it pains me to see you suffering. I wish I could visit you and give you hugs (how do you, dear Japanese people, feel about hugs?), pass out warm chocolate chip cookies, play games with your children, read stories to your children. I wish I could do crafts with you, so you can some way express what you're going through. I want to give you hope.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Should've Read My Own Blog
and called the Warm Line here in Illinois. I fell into the depression pit. I have been sleeping late, taking naps to escape, crying alone, feeling a sharp pain in my chest, and feeling like stabbing myself.
I didn't stab myself because that sounds darn painful, and I try to avoid pain. Also, it would be bloody mess. Then I would have to call 911 because I would not want to die. And because I don't want to die, I did not try to kill myself.
Really, I wanted to stab myself to destroy myself because I wasn't liking myself that day. I want to change, so I like myself better. I want a different and better life, not the one I am living. I don't like my own reality. How much of my own sucky reality is from bad decisions (and did I know they were bad when I made them?), how much is my personality, and how much is just plain bad luck and the economy?
AAAaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
That was just me screaming out of frustration.
Another bad thing about being in the depression pit is that I was upset to wake up from my naps.
Yesterday I managed to go out for a 10 minute walk. There's hope.
I didn't stab myself because that sounds darn painful, and I try to avoid pain. Also, it would be bloody mess. Then I would have to call 911 because I would not want to die. And because I don't want to die, I did not try to kill myself.
Really, I wanted to stab myself to destroy myself because I wasn't liking myself that day. I want to change, so I like myself better. I want a different and better life, not the one I am living. I don't like my own reality. How much of my own sucky reality is from bad decisions (and did I know they were bad when I made them?), how much is my personality, and how much is just plain bad luck and the economy?
AAAaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
That was just me screaming out of frustration.
Another bad thing about being in the depression pit is that I was upset to wake up from my naps.
Yesterday I managed to go out for a 10 minute walk. There's hope.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Things Change for the Better - Fill Your Mind with Positive Thoughts
"Sometimes our fate resembles a fruit tree in winter. Who would think that those branches would turn green again and blossom, but we hope we know it." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"My life is filled with ups and downs. If today is a bad day -or this week is a bad week-I know it's not forever and that I will come through it."
I am so grateful for this book.
Honor and grieve your losses, but fill you mind with positive thoughts.
"My life is filled with ups and downs. If today is a bad day -or this week is a bad week-I know it's not forever and that I will come through it."
The content for this post is from the book The Daily Book of Positive Quotations by Linda Picone.
I rec'd this book as a Christmas gift from a friend I have not spoken to or seen for years. What a happy surprise for me. About once a year, we have an email exchange. We usually exchange birthday and Christmas cards. We just lost touch.
I am so grateful for this book.
Honor and grieve your losses, but fill you mind with positive thoughts.
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