Teacher Salaries

I went to college to become a teacher. It didn't quite work out that way. I worked in corporate American for a number of years, but that didn't work out thanks. I have been trying again to become a teacher. It's not working out this time either.

In Illinois teacher salaries are public record. I depressed myself when I looked up the salaries of my peers who obtained teaching jobs after college graduation and now have tenue. One earns $104,00 a year and the other earns $74,000 a year. I feel like a loser.

Sure, money isn't an indicator of self-worth but it is an indicator on how much you are worth in the marketplace. Right now I'm not worth anything. I am so discouraged and depressed and do not want to live the rest of life in poverty.

Never again do I want to hear my friends complain about how teaching is hard work. I know it is. And they are duly compensated and have job security.

Did I mention life is unfair? It certainly is. And maybe if we internalized that starting in babyhood, we wouldn't be a nation of whiners. Maybe I wouldn't be a whiner. But I am a whiner and hungry and behind on my rent and all that crap. So are a lot of people in America.


I just want to throw rocks through windows and jump up and down and yell and scream and bash things. I want to pay off my debts and not worry about meeting my monthly rent.

You know what. I am no longer going to listen to my teacher friends complain. That's what.

Angry - Damn the Economy

Last night I became angrier and angrier because the longer I am without a full-time job, I have less and less money. The less money I have the less I can do. But what I am really angry about is that my far-away little ones are growing up, and I haven't been able to fly and visit them. I am angry I am missing their growing-up years.

Also, I am angry I cannot afford to buy a better home computer and the printer/scanner/copier to go with it. I am angry that I cannot afford to move to a better place.

I am angry I can't go on vacation.

Now, what do I do with anger?

Ideally, I take my anger and turn it into energy and start a company that takes off and makes me rich. Yep, I got money on my mind today. In my fantasy, I have the knowledge to do this and the hope that it all works out. At least I can take this anger and apply it to my job search.

You know, I hate my life right now, but I don't hate myself. I see myself as lacking some skills though. There's a fine difference. I am angry because other people have the good life and I do not. Therefore, what can I do to get a good life, to improve my situation?

I already went to college and do have various types of work experiences. Damn the economy!!!

Maybe I shouldn't say that. I think the economy has already been damned. Grow the economy!!!! Let the economy live and flourish!? How's that for positive thinking!

Job Interview Follow-Up

I received a very nice rejection e-mail from my job interview. I kind of figured I would, so I didn't have my heart on the line and am not really disappointed. We never spoke of salary, so I don't know how much money I am not making.

The positive side is that I know I can speak confidently about my experience and my philosophy in this particular field. It was interesting to learn a little about this company and that particular industry. I am telling myself that I should not be afraid of job interviews because that one wasn't scary at all. I do need a job because money is a big problem, rather it is the lack of money that is a big problem.

It would be nice to go on more interviews. Kind of. Okay, I'd rather not go on interviews, but if that is what it takes to get a job then that is what I must do. After all, an interview is just two people checking each other out. I am interviewing them, the company, and its culture as much as they are interviewing me. I wouldn't want to work in a place that isn't a good fit as they say.

I just need one job where I fit, where I can thrive, where I can earn money. Just one.

I felt darn good talking about my accomplishments.
THAT's what I liked about the interview.

Car Crash, Cost of Pain, and HIPAA

Yes, I was in a car crash. Yes, I'm "fine." Not really. I am suffering from whiplash and getting treatment from my chiropractor. I'm not disabled, but I am limited in the activities I can do. I don't have any broken bones. My daily activities are limited though.

A woman backed her truck into my car and give me quite a jolt. A representative from her insurance company (Company P.) came out this morning with some paperwork. Once I am fully recovered, Company P. and I will negotiate the settlement for Inconvenience and Pain. That is on top of Company P. will pay for repairs to my car and my medical treatment and lost wages for the one day I missed work. How much is my pain and inconvenience worth?

When people receive settlements for pain (on top of medical expenses), does it make the person feel better? What about wrongful death claims? On top of money for dependents and burial costs, how much does it cost to get rid of the grief? How much is a life worth? Money doesn't make the person come back.

How much is my inconvenience worth? How much money will it take for my aggravation to go away? Oh, I'm not injured enough or emotionally damaged enough for a million dollar settlement though if they offered it to me, I wouldn't turn it down. I'm reasonable, but I don't want to be taken for a ride either.

Company P. wants me to sign a medical info release form, so they can pay the chiropractor. Okay. But the release gives them rights to any records due to substance abuse, mental health and psychological testing, HIV tests, AIDS tests, and sexually transmitted diseases. I don't think so. I don't have a record of substance abuse, I don't have the HIV virus, I don't have sexually transmitted diseases. However, why should Company P. know that? None of that is relevant to the sore muscles and a few bones out of joint. I'm just going to cross that line out of the form and see what happens.

There may be HIPAA laws, but there really isn't a lot of privacy. Check out  HIPAA.

Problem Solving - Borrow Brains

I had a huge major money problem this past week. I need to find a way to get to work next week (a 45-minute drive) without my car. My car was in the shop with hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars of repairs. I didn't have the money. I started brainstorming. I started calling up certain people who had extra cars or were going on vacation and asked to borrow their cars. They said no!

I asked other friends for ideas after explaining my problem. Some were able to give me a ride on one day but not another. Somewhere along the way I was crying feeling sorry for myself. But once I got that out of the system, I went back to brainstorming. I kept asking for ideas figuring several brains were better than my one brain.

After several hours of calling around, two people offered to lend them money. I did not ask them for a loan. They offered a loan to me. Whew! Okay, I said some prayers too.

The point is to reach out and ask if anyone has any ideas on how to solve this problem. Because other people aren't caught up in their emotions, they are able to think more clearly. Someone may know something you may not know.

Hopefully, that was my last problem for 2010! My head was so exhausted afterwards that I went to bed early.

I hope you enjoy these last few days of 2010!

Lita

Broken Objects and the Value of a Walk

My printer/copier/scanner broke, and I still haven't bought a new one. My car broke down, and I can't afford to pay for repairs right now. Both broken things have caused inconveniences and strain on my budget. Yet, I maintained an okay mood. In years past, I would think my whole LIFE was breaking down, and God found me unworthy. I still think I am worthy of living and realize the car and the printer were not personally attacking me, neither was God or the universe attacking me. In this way I have grown and healed.

 I went to a party with my friends who gave me a ride. And even though I am without car, printer, ipod, ipad, ithingamajiggy, camera, and a few other techno goodies, my friends still LIKE me.

However, my part-time job caused me great anxiety, and so did my parent. Both the management of the job and the parent lack planning. The job kept making demands that I couldn't meet because management did not provide me with tools. I keep knocking on management's doors, and they are starting to respond. The parent acts upon feelings and not intellect. Finally, parent listened to reason once he settled down.

So, I had some sleepless nights and chest pains. Hello, Xanax! A wise person hearing my complaints reminded me to take care of myself in whatever form I need too. DUH! So I made time to talk, to act, and to go for a walk. I enjoyed my walk in the cold, and turned that anxiety into energy to propel myself around the neighborhood. Also, I made myself some good hearty oatmeal with protein power sprinkled in plus brown sugar.

It's way too easy to get caught up with the stresses of life to neglect ourselves. The reality is that every day I require self-care.

In other news, I sewed three tote bags without a pattern and used up some fabric. The bags look experimental because they are. I learned some sewing techniques by trial and error. Sewing was rather addicting to me and distracted me from my lack of funds.

Action is the prescription of the day.