Teacher Salaries

I went to college to become a teacher. It didn't quite work out that way. I worked in corporate American for a number of years, but that didn't work out thanks. I have been trying again to become a teacher. It's not working out this time either.

In Illinois teacher salaries are public record. I depressed myself when I looked up the salaries of my peers who obtained teaching jobs after college graduation and now have tenue. One earns $104,00 a year and the other earns $74,000 a year. I feel like a loser.

Sure, money isn't an indicator of self-worth but it is an indicator on how much you are worth in the marketplace. Right now I'm not worth anything. I am so discouraged and depressed and do not want to live the rest of life in poverty.

Never again do I want to hear my friends complain about how teaching is hard work. I know it is. And they are duly compensated and have job security.

Did I mention life is unfair? It certainly is. And maybe if we internalized that starting in babyhood, we wouldn't be a nation of whiners. Maybe I wouldn't be a whiner. But I am a whiner and hungry and behind on my rent and all that crap. So are a lot of people in America.


I just want to throw rocks through windows and jump up and down and yell and scream and bash things. I want to pay off my debts and not worry about meeting my monthly rent.

You know what. I am no longer going to listen to my teacher friends complain. That's what.

Angry - Damn the Economy

Last night I became angrier and angrier because the longer I am without a full-time job, I have less and less money. The less money I have the less I can do. But what I am really angry about is that my far-away little ones are growing up, and I haven't been able to fly and visit them. I am angry I am missing their growing-up years.

Also, I am angry I cannot afford to buy a better home computer and the printer/scanner/copier to go with it. I am angry that I cannot afford to move to a better place.

I am angry I can't go on vacation.

Now, what do I do with anger?

Ideally, I take my anger and turn it into energy and start a company that takes off and makes me rich. Yep, I got money on my mind today. In my fantasy, I have the knowledge to do this and the hope that it all works out. At least I can take this anger and apply it to my job search.

You know, I hate my life right now, but I don't hate myself. I see myself as lacking some skills though. There's a fine difference. I am angry because other people have the good life and I do not. Therefore, what can I do to get a good life, to improve my situation?

I already went to college and do have various types of work experiences. Damn the economy!!!

Maybe I shouldn't say that. I think the economy has already been damned. Grow the economy!!!! Let the economy live and flourish!? How's that for positive thinking!

Rub it In Because I’ve Got Boyfriend Issues

Spoke with my friend a few weeks ago, and when she was going on and on and on about her wonderful boyfriend, I got that sharp pain in my heart. It hurt, it made me angry, it made me hate myself, and I was super jealous. I hate that I automatically have that reaction. Do you have any ideas on how not to have that reaction?