Looking for Trouble

Today's post is from Meditations for People Who Worry by Anne Wilson Schaef.

"Whenever  we look for trouble, we are sure to find it. If it has already happened, we can't change it anyway. If it is happening right now, we'd better just get busy and deal with it and not take the luxury of worrying about it. And, if it may happen in the future, we might as well relax, deal with today, and see what happens. This can certainly keep us occupied enough without having to borrow trouble and having to pay interest on it it."

Lost Two pounds

I'm down to 150 pounds. I feel skinnier already. Ha.

My mind is calming down too.

Adios Abilify, Hello Zoloft

My doctor cut out the Abilify. He switched me over to Zoloft to stop the weight gain. Also the Zoloft is to stop all the negative obsessive thinking in my mind.

I felt better having the script for Zoloft in my hand. I feel better having taken just one. The power of suggestion is really strong.

Weight Gain Way to Go

Yesterday I hit a high of 152 pounds. I am turning down food, so I feel like I have mastery over the darn activity. I wonder if Abilify effects the way one's body uses or stores energy besides increasing appetite. I'm no doctor or pharmacist, but I'll be seeing my doctor tomorrow.

The drug should be called Appetitify. The damn thing. Plus my anxiety is INCREASING. I've had to take 1/2 Xanax every few days.

Today I told myself that I'm practicing distorted thinking. The Xanax makes me sleepy. What kind of life am I leading?

Yesterday I went to my first real yoga class and enjoy it. It's the first time I heard an exercise teacher tell you not to be in pain. Don't do it if it hurts. Modify as needed.

iPod

I'm still on Abilify. I continue to exercise, mostly be going for walks. I have a brand new ipod, and walks are a lot more enjoyable now that I have musical company. Also, I have a handle on my eating. I think. I hit the high weight (for me) of 148 pounds. Like gas prices, the weight goes up quickly and comes back down slowly.

I'll keep weighing myself every few days and post my progress. So far I'm still squeezing into my clothes, but I would rather not squeeze.

Friend or Enemy?

I'm gaining weight while on this Abilify. After getting on the scale this morning, I cried. I also have A LOT more energy that makes me want to exercise. Sometimes I do a set of 10 jumping jacks just for the fun of it, and I pretty much hate exercising. Do I stay on this Abilify or do I ditch it and place a call to my psychiatrist?

Visualization is an Ice Cream Cone

I did a visualization exercise with Dr. Miller on Thursday. She did the talking, and I did the imagining with my eyes closed. It was like giving an ice cream cone to my hot, tired brain. I recommend this technique. She was very realistic and didn't leave out the steps involving the hard crucial work. But my hands are usually sticky from the melting ice cream when I do eat a real ice cream cone, so I'd expect visualization to involve some stickiness too.