Comments from Anonymous People

I welcome comments. I just changed the settings so that you can comment anonymously. Let me know how you are handling life, how you take care of yourself, and your stumbles (because we all have stumbles).

Problem Solving - Borrow Brains

I had a huge major money problem this past week. I need to find a way to get to work next week (a 45-minute drive) without my car. My car was in the shop with hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars of repairs. I didn't have the money. I started brainstorming. I started calling up certain people who had extra cars or were going on vacation and asked to borrow their cars. They said no!

I asked other friends for ideas after explaining my problem. Some were able to give me a ride on one day but not another. Somewhere along the way I was crying feeling sorry for myself. But once I got that out of the system, I went back to brainstorming. I kept asking for ideas figuring several brains were better than my one brain.

After several hours of calling around, two people offered to lend them money. I did not ask them for a loan. They offered a loan to me. Whew! Okay, I said some prayers too.

The point is to reach out and ask if anyone has any ideas on how to solve this problem. Because other people aren't caught up in their emotions, they are able to think more clearly. Someone may know something you may not know.

Hopefully, that was my last problem for 2010! My head was so exhausted afterwards that I went to bed early.

I hope you enjoy these last few days of 2010!

Lita

Wrapping Paper and Ribbons - Choosing a New Package

On December 23, I had an appointment with Dr. K, my psychiatrist. I told him I was spending Christmas with friends, and I had no expectations. He said one shouldn't have expectations, and that there is too much hoopla ahead of time causing a great build-up. I know Dr. K. is a Christian, and I like the fact that he says there's too much hoopla because that's not the meaning of Christmas. It was the usual seven minute appointment or maybe eight minutes.

My friend drove me to the appointment and noticed there were a lot of people in the waiting room especially in the evening. I told her it was a large practice with several psychiatrists and many, many counselors. People were probably stressed due to the upcoming Christmas. I use to be that way.

On the 24th, I went to Christmas Vigil Mass. That is the real reason for Christmas. Jesus came as promised and gave us everlasting life. No reason to be bummed out about that! It was a joyous experience.

On the 25th I went to my friends' house and laughed and eat all through the day. You see, I finally got the determination and guts to not spend it with my relatives who are often gray and stormy. I decided for one year to buck tradition. I decided to celebrate with friends. All I knew was that there was going to a brunch. Not knowing what to expect, I didn't expect anything.

This Christmas was a world of difference. The people were light after darkness. So refreshed was I by the different venue, the different people (mostly my age), the different food, and different routine that I wanted to . . . well . . . sing. There was a big giant shiny bow around my shiny, merry Christmas Day. And it happened because I chose to try a new experience.

Broken Objects and the Value of a Walk

My printer/copier/scanner broke, and I still haven't bought a new one. My car broke down, and I can't afford to pay for repairs right now. Both broken things have caused inconveniences and strain on my budget. Yet, I maintained an okay mood. In years past, I would think my whole LIFE was breaking down, and God found me unworthy. I still think I am worthy of living and realize the car and the printer were not personally attacking me, neither was God or the universe attacking me. In this way I have grown and healed.

 I went to a party with my friends who gave me a ride. And even though I am without car, printer, ipod, ipad, ithingamajiggy, camera, and a few other techno goodies, my friends still LIKE me.

However, my part-time job caused me great anxiety, and so did my parent. Both the management of the job and the parent lack planning. The job kept making demands that I couldn't meet because management did not provide me with tools. I keep knocking on management's doors, and they are starting to respond. The parent acts upon feelings and not intellect. Finally, parent listened to reason once he settled down.

So, I had some sleepless nights and chest pains. Hello, Xanax! A wise person hearing my complaints reminded me to take care of myself in whatever form I need too. DUH! So I made time to talk, to act, and to go for a walk. I enjoyed my walk in the cold, and turned that anxiety into energy to propel myself around the neighborhood. Also, I made myself some good hearty oatmeal with protein power sprinkled in plus brown sugar.

It's way too easy to get caught up with the stresses of life to neglect ourselves. The reality is that every day I require self-care.

In other news, I sewed three tote bags without a pattern and used up some fabric. The bags look experimental because they are. I learned some sewing techniques by trial and error. Sewing was rather addicting to me and distracted me from my lack of funds.

Action is the prescription of the day.

Spiritual Affirmations by Philip St. Romain

Spiritual Affirmations

1. If God is for me, who can be against me?
2. I am lovable and acceptable because I exist – because God is choosing to love me into existence in this now-moment, and “God doesn’t make junk.
3. I know how to do many things that can contribute to the improvement of the human community. If I do not share my giftedness, it will be missed by others.
4. I do not judge myself as a bad person when I make mistakes or deviate from a social norm.
5. I do not judge myself as a bad person when I hut another with my behavior. I take responsibility for my behavior and make amends.
6. It is unreasonable for me to expect perfection of myself. I will do the best I can, and that is all that God expects.
7. I accept my physical appearance. If others reject me on t his basis, it is not because I am unlovable but because they are comparing my appearance to a social norm propagated largely by the media.
8. I accept all of my feelings, pleasant and unpleasant, knowing that I am more than my feelings. Feelings come and go. They do not reveal to me my true worth as a person. I do not define myself on the basis of my feelings but on my faith-convictions.
9. Other people have judged me and mistreated me, and this has affected my view of myself. I am more than what others have told me I am, so I do not accept their judgments of me.
10. I forgive everyone everything they have done that has hurt me, for I know that holding on to hurt and resentment will keep me from growing to be the person God created me to be.
11. I take responsibility for meeting my own needs in a moral and loving matter. It is not someone else’s responsibility to meet my needs.
12. I am in doubt about my beauty and worth. I ask God to help me to see and know myself as God sees and knows me.
13. Right now, I am where I should be in life. I have learned many lessons and have many more to learn. That is life: learning and growing. It is good for me to be here in life.
14. Right now, I have everything I need to be as happy as it is possible for me to be in this life. Therefore, I renounce the idea that my present circumstances are inadequate for happiness, that I need more of something or another, or that I need less of something or another. Happiness is an attitude, not an acquisition. In gratitude to God, I accept myself and my life just as they are.

From Handbook for Spiritual Growth by Philip St. Romain

Books by Philip St. Romain

Personal Bill of Rights by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD

 Personal Bill of Rights

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet.
3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive and negative.
4. I have the right to change my mind.
5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.
7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.
8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.
9. I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings, or problems.
10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love,
12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.
13. I have the right to feel scared and say, “I’m afraid.”
14. I have the right to say, “I don’t know.”
15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
20. I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
22. I have the right to change and grow.
23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
25. I have the right to be happy.

From The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD
Books by Edmund J. Bourne 

Dropping the Label

For the longest time I had PTSD from a bad crash I suffered when I was twelve. It had a profound negative effect on my life. In my late-20s, my therapist at the time diagnosed me with PTSD. No wonder I was an anxious mess of self-hatred! I read  I Can't Get Over It by Aphrodite Matsakis. It explained A LOT. It just explained about everything. It took another five or six years before I finally met up with a psychiatrist and started taking the necessary medications. But up until the time I met the psychiatrist, I tried every relaxation and coping mechanism out there. They just didn't work, but I did try.

Now that I have been taking meds for ten years now and identified my triggers until I was down to one trigger: I startle, jump, swear, get panicy, get angry with sudden loud noises. A few months ago, I was driving along a busy road when I heard a firecracker go off. BOOM! I was so shocked because I thought my entire village was being bombed that I swerved into the oncoming lane. Thankfully I swerved back into my own lane just as fast before getting into a head-on collision. Whew!

I heard two sudden loud noises in the past two weeks and . . .

I just looked around and wondered, "Hm, wonder what that noise was?"

I did NOT jump, I did NOT startle, I did NOT get scared, I did NOT panic, I did NOT assume the world was ending or that I was in danger. My heart did NOT race. I did NOT get angry.

Am I finally healed from PTSD? I think so. I am going to stop telling people in mental health circles that I have PTSD. Besides I keep getting the initials mixed up: PSDT or PDTS, or PSTD.